Confidence

Last night was quite a night at our house.  Caroline was up until 11:00 crying and saying that the thunder from a storm going through was keeping her awake.  She never used the word "scared" so I didn't either.  However, she would not stay in her room.  Everytime I would put her in there she would climb out of bed and run back into my room.  We went back and forth for almost 4 hours and sadly, I finally gave in.  Mark was out of town for the night so I was in the battle on my own and she outlasted me!  She ended up sleeping on a pallet in our bedroom.  After coming into our room to finally lay down she didn't make a single peep.  I can't decide if she was that tired or if she just knew that I was d.o.n.e with her nonsense! 

This event last night was "troublesome" to me because I see it as the first of many, many battles of will.  I know that the actual problem was incredibly small and nothing in the big scheme of things but here is my problem....I have a strong desire for my children to be confident and secure in life.  I know that this confidence cannot come from within themselves and can only come from the Lord.  I do not want them to live a life of fear.  I also don't want them to be dependent on the things of this world in order to be confident or secure. I think so hard about the consequences and responses that I use when I parent because I know that they will stick with her, whether or not they are healthy.  Out of a need for conversation in the midst of my desperation last night I posted on facebook about our mini-drama.  Only a few responded but two folks said to put a fan in her room.  I didn't want to use one last night because I feel that is depending on something of this world to stay calm.  It's funny because this morning one of my friends responded that if I used the fan that she would be addicted to it forever.  Thank you for the confirmation.  :-)

I talked with Caroline many times last night about God being with her and talked with her about praying whenever she heard the thunder.  We talked about singing and taking care of her baby doll who couldn't sleep either.  However none of that worked.  She did eventually fall asleep and for that was I grateful. 

Like I said, the situation itself was minor in the grand scheme of raising a child.  This situation and the many to come bring lots of questions to my parenting heart though.  What will happen next time it storms?  Or what about the next time she doesn't want to stay in Sunday School?  Or the bigger question of, how do I instill a confidence and security in her from the Lord?  Have I given her tools in her heart and mind that she can use?