Monday, May 3, 2010

Recent Ponderings...

The past few days I feel like God has been both challenging me and encouraging me in new ways. I rarely say this (because I don't like know-it-alls who make blanket statements) but I would love some dialogue about any of these thoughts. Anyone interested? Here are a few things that God has me pondering...

Why is God's timing so different from our timing? Of course, I know that God's timing is better than mine. I just find it strange that I have been praying for something specific for a couple of years now and I have finally gotten the answer that I was hoping to receive but the timing is not right. Why would God answer with what I want now if the timing is not right? I kind of feel like I'm being tempted but I'm pretty sure the Bible says that God will not tempt us.

Along the same lines as above, how can it be that my heart can feel so strongly one way and my practical brain feel so strongly the other way? I know the personality tests say that you either lean on your heart or your brain. Is it ever good to follow your heart when everything logical says you shouldn't? I think the answer is yes but rarely... ?

Is it ever OK to question someone in authority? I'm not talking about just questioning in my own mind. I question authority all the time in my head. I'm talking about confronting the person. Sounds way too scary for my rule following self but there is a part of me that thinks God might want me to do that in this situation. I think I'm losing my mind! Has anyone ever done that with any "success"?

In Sunday School the other day someone asked if anyone had done a Bible study at the church. I have and responded as so. "How was it?" I kind of stuttered through an answer, "Good....met new people...studied about the New Testament..." The class kind of giggled and said, "Wow Nicole that study must have really made an impact on you." I left feeling a little guilty. Later as I was thinking about it, I realized that the study was over 3 years ago. Of course I don't remember much about it. I barely remember the sermon from two weeks ago or any specific truths that I have learned in Sunday School last year. I think that Sunday School, Bible study and Church are all extremely important but I'm not going to remember everything. I am a growing person and little bits and pieces of Scripture that I put together over time are making me who God wants. Not every thing I learn is going to be mind blowing and drastically change my life.

Sometimes I feel like God wants me to do x, y, or z but in my head I rationalize that it's not the right time and that now is the time to be building a foundation in order for x, y or z to happen later. There is always an excuse to wait. Is that just a trap or should I really be focusing on something else?

Along the same lines, x,y and z are often times "big" things for God. I know God wants me to follow him daily in the big and small! Why am I attracted to the "big"?

Do you think God calls us to be faithful in lots of "little" things in our lives or does he want us to champion some sort of cause? He gives us gifts, talents, resources, experiences, dreams and much more - it seems that all of those things would lead to being able to make a significant impact in some area. ?

A bit of encouragement from God tonight...Mark and I are doing one of those reading through the Bible in a year plans. Tonight we were reading Psalm 133 which is just 3 short verses. "How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity....For there the Lord bestows His blessing, even life forevermore." I was just reminded of how thankful I am for Mark and our marriage. I will say that we had some pretty intense discussions when we were first married (thanks to my fiesty personality). However, we have both learned how to communicate and we rarely get upset with one another these days. Our frustrations end as quickly as they get started. We are living in unity and I do feel that God is blessing us!

If you have made it this far, bless your heart! My poor brain just couldn't take anymore. I'm hopeful that as I spend some time with God over the next few days he will reveal some new insights to me! I'm also looking forward to some good conversation with others who love the Lord.

1 comment:

  1. Nicole, you have a lot of questions right now. I have some thoughts and would like to read some scripture about your ponderings. I am glad we are seeing each other this weekend and would love to talk with you. I'm sure Vern will have thoughts as well. It will be a good family discussion. I love you.

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